


Johnlock texts

by Jimmybean



Category: Sherlock (TV), Sherlock Holmes & Related Fandoms
Genre: BAMF John Watson, BAMF Sherlock, Do not eat pocky or you'll choke, Drunk John, F/F, F/M, Fluff, John a bit confused, Lonely Sherlock, M/M, Other, Sherlock's military kink, Texting, late at night dramatics, sherlock using "jawn", talks about sex
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-06-29
Updated: 2014-08-05
Packaged: 2018-02-06 19:01:36
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 5,307
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1868913
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jimmybean/pseuds/Jimmybean
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hilarious texts between Sherlock and John, and other characters expressing their views on the relationship. Each chapter stands on its own.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Drunk

Look, I don't want this to be awkward.-SH

Don't want what to be awkward? -JW

I don't want what happened between us last night to be awkward. You were drunk, I didn't know and I'm sorry for assuming. -SH

What? What happened, Sherlock? -JW

You mean to say you don't remember?-SH

I was very drunk last night, Sherlock. There's little at all I remember. -JW

Then maybe I should just forget it too.I'm sorry for bothering you. -SH

No, no. You have to tell me now, what happened? -JW

It's very odd and I'm not sure you want to hear it.-SH

Tell me, Sherlock. -JW

You were begging to suck something of mine after you told me you loved me and kissed me. When I refused, you dragged me to your room. -SH

Oh god, oh jesus fuck.Please tell me I didn't hurt you.Please, God, tell me I didn't force you into anything. -JW

You didn't hurt me....at least, not in a way that I didn't like. -SH

But you refused, and i just...God, what did I do to you after that? After I dragged you to my room?-JW

Well....I'm not sure how to put this easily...-SH

Oh Christ.-JW

And you made me call you Captian during it. -SH

Jesus.I'm sorry.I'm so fucking sorry. -JW

I'm not. -SH

But you refused the first time. -JW

To having you suck me off, yes.I didn't want you accidently biting me...though that may have been hot. -SH

Jesus, Sherlock. -JW

I know the captain thing was definitely sexy. -SH

Really? God, I cant believe I....you...-JW

Yes really. What is it John? Spit it out. -SH

Can't believe we had sex.And you wanted it.And called me captain. -JW

It's not that hard.You've always thought I was hot, now after you showed me last night and confirmed your feelings I can safely say I've always felt some degree of more for you than anyone else. -SH

So...that means you'd like last night to happen again? -JW

God yes.Except the drunk part. I want you to remember it next time. -SH

I'll be right home. -JW


	2. Clubbing

Sherlock, you should come have fun.-JW

And what would you define as fun in this context? -SH

Greg pouring shots. Oh god, he's trying to get people to do body shots. -JW

What on earth is a body shot? -SH

It's where you pour a shot of alcohol on someones stomach and lick it off.Oh god, you have to help me. -JW

Why do people do that and why do I need to come help you?-SH

Its fun.You have to help, Mycroft just walked in.-JW

I'm definitely not coming then.I do not need to witness what's about to happen. -SH

Sheerlock.Please.He's trying to get Greg to do a body shot off him.-JW

I know. Mycroft likes him. Just leave before he starts doing something really disgusting.-SH

But theres attractive people and alcohol..your missing out. -JW

Your definition of attractive is different than mine, judging by your dating history.-SH

Ouch.That burns.Fine Mr.Mc grouchy pants, hide with your violin. -JW

"Mr.Mc grouchy pants"? -SH

Sheelock..Greg says I should say soory..and to tell you that John loves yoh. -JW

You don't love me.Don't be ridiculous.-SH

Of course I font.Johns does.-JW

You are John, moron. -SH

Don'ts bee ridiculous. -JW

Yes, you are.You must be even more drunk than I thought.-SH

Drunki? Nai'm fine. -JW

No your drunk.-SH

Youz bin silli again. -JW

I am completely serious. -SH

Youz knoe...the unly people i like..they isn't here..-JW

Your grammer is atrocious when your drunk. -SH

Ans yiur a idiot. -JW

How am I the idiot? -SH

You neber notise me stareing...or licking my lipz.. neber nitice whern i breathe you in..-JW

What are you trying to say? -SH

Thats youve neber notised i'ms in loove wiht you, idiot.-JW

Your just drunk John.-SH

A drenk minf speakd a sover onez worde.-JW

As horrendous as the spelling is, you are correct. Get Mycroft to send you home in one of his cars at once.I don't trust taxi's when your drunk.-SH

Ims nit goingz. You come.We get drink, youz tell me yous lover me and we fucx.-JW

I'll be there shortly. -SH


	3. Lonely

John, where are you? It's almost 9. -SH

At the pub.-JW

Why? Getting drunk is pointless. -SH

I'm not getting drunk. -JW

Then why would you be at a pub? -SH

To drink.-JW

Why would you drink if you weren't getting drunk? -SH

I like the taste and feel. -JW

....no matter.Come home at once.-SH

Why?-JW

Because....-SH

Because?-JW

There's nobody here but me.-SH

And?-JW

I'm lonely...I miss..you.-SH

-Delayed 10 or so minutes- Coming. -JW

Why did it take you so long to reply? -SH

Shocked.-JW

Shocked? Why? -SH

You actually displayed sentiment.-JW

....no I didn't. -SH

Yes you did. "I miss you" is a form of sentiment.-JW

I didn't say that.-SH

The proof is in my phone.I guess I should post a screenshot on my blog and show everyone your sentimental. -JW

YOU FORGED IT LIAR! THEY'LL NEVER BELIEVE YOU! -SH

Actually, I can't forge something when it says its sent from your number...I just took a screenshot.Going to post to my blog and show everyone Sherlock Holmes is sentimental. -JW

You can't John! PLEASE! -SH

Say you love me and I won't. -JW

I love you.-SH

-delayed 5 minutes- Do you really or are you just saving your skin? -JW

I do, actually. -SH

See you in 2 minutes. -JW


	4. Police trouble

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Be careful...Funny Sherlock shennagins..

John.There's something I need to say.-SH

...okay.Go ahead.-JW

Please don't get mad but...I may have gotten arrested.-SH

Sherlock Holmes, what did you do? -JW

Well....it's quite a funny story really.Almost humourous. -SH

Mhm.I'm sure it's hilarious. -JW

Well...I may have pointed a gun at Donovan during the case...and this next bit is super funny  
..-SH

Sherlock...-JW

And then Anderson pushed me so I accidently pulled the trigger and..-SH

She got shot in the knee. -SH

Lestrade made it funnier though...-SH

Keep talking. -JW

Heh.Well...Lestrade tried to take the gun away but my hand is glued to it so he got shot in the shoulder...-SH

So Anderson pushed me again...and I got shot in the foot...-SH

Keep going. -JW

Well I lost my balance so Anderson is now sporting a head wound...-SH

I'm not laughing. -JW

It was funny to me.They couldn't arrest me safely, had to tie my hands together in front of me.-SH

Please bail me out? -SH

Why in the hell should I? -JW

Because Mycroft won't. -SH

And you love me and don't want me to get raped. -SH

The inmates are kind of terrifying John.-SH

I'll do anything John. -SH

I don't reacll saying I loved you anytime recently. -JW

How in the hell did you get a gun glued to your hand anyway? -JW

Well...that's a funny story actually. -SH

One of moriarty's ex henchmen had a hot glue gun...-SH

Why in the fuck did he have a hot glue gun?!-JW

We were at a glue factory.Do keep up, John.Anyway we fought, blah blah blah.He held me down and glued the gun to my hand.I walked out the factory and thats when everything happened.-SH

Well I don't know if I should bail you out.You brought it on yourself and all, didn't tell me where you were going...-JW

I'll let you spank me.-SH

I have a few more things with that, I'm getting in the taxi now. -JW


	5. Mystrade

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Greg and Mycroft discuss odd signs and dates.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry its a bit short, could've done longer. I've decided every 5 chapters I'll do one of different characters discussing Johnlock.

I think there's something going on between yiur brother and John. -GL 

What led you to that conclusion? -MH

Well yesterday Sherlock was walking oddly.They've been touching each other more than neccessary, staring intensely more than usual..and I swear they held hands. -GL 

They can't be together Mrs.Hudson would've.. -MH

What? Would've what? -GL

Would've told me. -MH

That was too quick, your hiding something. Spit it out. -GL

She would've made me ask you out.She said if Sherlock and John ever got together that I had to ask you out so... -MH

So are you going to ask me out or what? -GL

You want me to? -MH

Of course I do, you bastard.It's not like I had to wait 3 damn years for platonic soulmates to get together or anything. -GL

Alright then. Greg, would you like to go to dinner with me? -MH

Yes. -GL

What time? -MH

Now. -GL


	6. Impatient

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gets a bit descriptive but nothing too bad

John.Home.Now.-SH

Why? What's wrong? -JW

Bored.-SH

Christ Sherlock, I thought you were in danger.-JW

Please come home.I'll do anything. -SH

What do you mean by anything? -JW

I mean I'll do anything. -SH

Not anything. -JW

Yes anything.-SH

Okay, prove it.What would you do? -JW

[Delayed] I would buy the milk. -SH

Wow. Is that all? -JW

Well its all up to what you want to do.But I actually probably won't buy the milk.Anything besides going to the store I will do. -SH

Okay...what else do you think I want? -JW

.....for me to stop putting the eyeballs in the microwave. -SH

That would be nice...what do you want to do? -JW

Kiss you. -SH

You want that? -JW

Maybe more...but I don't think your ready for that. -SH

More? -JW

Tell me. -JW

I want you behind me, your dogtags hanging from my throat, moans coming from yours as you fuck me. But like I said, I don't think gour ready for that yet. -SH

[Delayed] Oh. And what if I was? -JW

Well then I'd....have to...go get naked and lie on your bed till you came home. SH

Please do. JW

[Delayed] I did. -SH

And my dogtags? -JW

They're on. -SH

Good.God, I want you. -JW

Hurry up then. -SH

I can't exactly tell the cab to hurry up because I have a beautiful naked man in my bed.-JW

Sure you can.How long? -SH

Five minutes. -JW

Get out and run.Its cold in your room. -SH

I doubt I'd be faster than the cabbie. -JW

I think you would.Do you want me to prepare myself or will you do it? -SH

Which do you want? -JW

....you. -SH

Then I'll do it. -JW

Come on, I'm waiting. -SH

Calm down impatient, I'm in the building now.-JW

Good. -SH

John let out a breath outside his door and looked down to his phone. Are you sure about this? No going back after this. -JW

Positive. -SH


	7. Late night talk

Jaawn. -SH

Sherlock? -JW

You left me.I'm sad. -SH

Well Sherlock,as you know our relationship is based on you providing me with lavish amounts of baked goods.You ran out, so did I.Learn your lesson next time. -JW

But thats no fair, Jawn. -SH

What's not fair is that I didn't get my cinnamon raisin cookies, you little snot! -JW

But..but..great you made me cry. See what you've done now? -SH

Your tears are worthless to me. -JW

Thats not true.They are so rare that the queen would buy them. -SH

I doubt that.Mega doubts. -JW

I'll put them on Ebay right now and prove it. -SH

Well I'm not bidding. -JW

Yep, Mycroft just bought them. -SH

I have cinnamon raisin cookies Jawn.Please come down? -SH

Only if you kiss me and show me that the queen bought those tears. -JW

Deal. Now come down, I'm cold and your the next best thing to a space heater.Except I can't cuddle a space heater.It hurts. -SH

You cuddled a space heater? -JW


	8. Wife

Sorry for introducing you as my wife. -SH

What was that about, by the way? -JW

I forget to censor what I think sometimes. -SH

You think I'm your wife.Gee, thanks. -JW

Well it's just you nag a lot at me and become more like one everyday.Don't blame me for getting flatmate and wife confused. -SH

There's a huge difference between flatmate and wife, you know. -JW

And I don't nag. -JW

Yes you do. Sherlock, don't leave mold samples in the bathtub.Sherlock, why can't you ever buy the milk? Sherlock, do you ever listen to me? -SH

To be fair, if you actually did the last thing I wouldn't have to nag. -JW

You just admitted to nagging. -SH

Fine, yes,happy? It's the only way to ever get anything done with you. -JW

That's not true. I can be motivated. -SH

Not by any way I've ever found. -JW

Guess you'll have to keep trying then. -SH

Nagging seems to work fine, aside from you thinking I'm your wife. -JW

It could get worse John, if you don't stop.Men with wives do things.I may get unsatisfied with my wife John. -SH

Oh yeah? And what'll you'll do, find someone else to nag you? -JW

No.Much worse John.I could kiss you. -SH

Unless you actually want that of course.-SH

You'd kiss me? -JW

Yes.Don't men with wives do that? -SH

Actual wives, yes. -JW

Well I might get you so confused with a wife that I could kiss you. -SH

Maybe I should nag you more often. -JW

I thought you weren't gay? -SH

And if that weren't entirely true? -JW

Then I'd probably actually make you my wife. -SH

You're serious? -JW

Deadly. -SH

Maybe let's aim for husband instead? -JW

I like the sound of wife.And it makes me sound more masculine.-SH

I am masculine too, you realize.-JW

Yes but my face is more feminine so by calling you wife I instantly sound more masculine. -SH

Right.Killing the moment now Sherlock. -JW

Sorry. -SH

So if I'm the wife, should I come home to my husband now? -JW

Yes, you should.Do you want a ring? -SH

I'm looking at them online right now. -SH

A ring would be nice. -JW

Diamond? -SH

They are a girls best friend. -JW

Great.One should be here tomorrow.-SH

So wife...when are you coming home? -SH

Give me ten minutes.-JW

Husband.-JW

That's 5 minutes too long.-SH

Should I make it up to you when I get in? -JW

Oh god yes. -SH

Be home soon then.-JW

I think you can quit nagging now, I feel as though I have motivation. -SH

Hmm, think you might clean the flat before I get home then? I'll be very grateful. Might even show you how much so. -JW

Yep.Mold spores will suddenly be relocated.Decomposing bodies I will buy a new freezer for.-SH

It's like Christmas.I'm enjoying this power. -JW

You should be.Most people don't get that power.Use it wisely. -SH

I intend to.No more nagging from me.-JW

Yay.How much longer?-SH

5 minutes.Did you just say "yay"? -JW

Yes I did.I can use that phrase to show my excitement. -SH

I'm sure anyone could see your excitement.-JW

Most likely.I'm glad no one is around. -SH

I'll give you a hand in a minute. -JW

It's very visble now.How much longer again? -SH

Two minutes.I'm sure you can wait. -JW

The flat is mostly clean except for the desks if that helps motivate you. -SH

It does actually.Cleaning can be sexy, you know.-JW

Only when I'm doing it. -SH

One minute and I'll show you my appreciation. -JW

Yayayayayay. -SH


	9. "Kicketh their arses"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been a while, I know.Here's something adorable.

Jaawn.I needs heelp. SH 

Jawn? JW

Jawn.Isnnt thats your names? SH

Sherlock are you drunk? JW

Nein.Not drunken.I beliive. SH

You believe? Where are you? JW

Thhe pubbs.Where yoous and Lestradey goes. SH

And what are you doing there? JW

Staake ouut. SH

Well, you've said you needed help? JW

Aye.I cannnot move.Withouut heead huting.Or felling doown. SH

How much have you been drinking? JW

Lestradey gaveth me apple juixe. SH

Sure... JW

He toldeth me its was appley juixe! SH

It clearly wasn't. JW

Resscue mee, fair priince. SH

Fair prince... JW

Yes.I'm thee princesss. Daark hairs, palle skin.Yous tan, blondey hair, bleu eyes.Priince.SH

Sure... You know, princesses are usually girls. JW

Myy sexx doesnt matte. SH

Alright princess. I'll come get you. JW

Yaaay.Come upons yous whiite stallion and resscue mee from the evil, lyiing dragon! SH

What about I come by cab and drag you home? JW

Cab isn't az speecial :( SH

I'm sorry. JW

Youz will still taaketh me unto yous armz and kiss me passionatelyy after you tell me you luvers me rightz? SH

Yeah, of course. Don't I do it everyday? JW

Noo. That maketh me saad. SH

I'm in a cab, I should be there in five minutes. JW

Yaayz.Lestradey thee evil dragon hath laughth at mes. SH

Poor princess... JW

Yesses thats was a injustixe.So has peasentt Andersons and Donavin. SH

I wonder why they did! JW

I knows! Theys soo mean, itz hurts. SH

I'm almost there, you won't have to stay with those meanies anymore. JW

Goodies.Fair lady Mowwy has hiddens mee till yourr rescue. SH

Good, good. I'll be there in a minute. JW

Minutte. Hurryz. SH

John got out of the cab and asked the cabbie to wait there, so he could 'rescue' Sherlock and go back home. He walked into the pub, immediately spotting the table Sherlock was sitting at.  
''Evening,'' he greeted, smiling a little. ''Sherlock, the cab's waiting for us...''

"Jaawn, remember what you said you'd do?"Sherlock asked, crossing his arms with a disaproving pout.

John frowned ''What?''

Sherlock showed him the text from earlier."You said you'd taketh me into your arms after saying you luvers me and kiss me passionately."Sherlock whined.  
John let out a loud sigh and rolled his eyes.''Just go home, okay? The cab is waiting."

"It's important though."he said stubbornly, tears pricking his eyes.He looked away from John.John frowned, he had never seen Sherlock so drunk before. 

"We'll talk about it later, okay? We have to go now.''

"You were supposed to kiss me!"Sherlock cried, resting his head in his arms sadly.

''Sherlock, please... Let's go home.'' he said again, trying to make Sherlock get up.

Sherlock didn't move, shoulders shaking as he cried silently."Is it because yous ashamed of me?"he asked, sounding utterly heart broke.  
John sighed again as he tilted Sherlock's chin up and pressed their lips together.Sherlock kissed him back happily.

"Now say you luvers me."

This was completely crazy, but John couldn't help but smile. ''I love you.''

Sherlock grinned."I luver you."he said, standing up shakily.

John wrapped an arm around Sherlock's waist to help him stand and they walked out, trying to ignore everyone's laughter and comments.

"Shuteth up! My prince could kicketh any of your arses!"Sherlock shouted as they headed for the cab.

They made it home safely and the next day at a crime scene, Anderson and Donovan started in onnthe jeering again.Sherlock looked at John with a smile. "Kicketh their arses, prince."


	10. Mormor

Seb, that John Watson is infuriating me! JMx

What happened now, boss? SM

Him and Sherlock are sleeping together! I'll never have a chance now.God, I want to strangle that doctor. JMx

And how do you know they're sleeping together, Jim? SM

Well.....y'know....I have those cameras in their flat. JMx

Meaning you hacked into Mycroft's cameras to watch them. SM

Not exactly.....JMx

Liar.When are you going to realise you don't need Sherlock like that? SM

What do you mean by that, tiger? JMx

I mean that I wish you'd stop obsessing over Sherlock and come spend some time with me.Maybe notice that genius twat doesn't care for you, I do. SM

Sebby...are you jealous? JMx

Of course I'm jealous.He's pretty and clever and interesting.I'm rough around the edges, not as smart as I'd like and probably pretty boring. SM

Your handsome, intelligent in your own way and far more amazing than I could hope for.Sorry for neglecting you, I'm coming home right now.Have the bath ready. JMx

Okay boss. Love you. SM

You too Bastian. JMx


	11. Roleplay

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kind of a alternate scene to Ch.8 but far more....interesting.

Sorry for introducing you as my wife. -SH 

No problem. I just don't understand why you did that. JW

Well I accidentaly blurt things I'm thinking from time to time. SH

Alright... JW

I didn't know your thoughts were on me. JW

Well....they are a lot actually. Still sorry though. That must've been awkward. SH

So if we were together I would be the "wife" of the relationship? JW

Yes.You nag a lot, cook, clean...most definitely the wife.And I'm the husband who buys expensive things. SH

But on bed you would be on the receive end. JW

[Delayed] You think so? SH

Certainly. JW

Well....so is this you saying you want a relationship? Because I think it's a little odd to be talking about these things if we're not going to be in one. SH

Actually I just like to think about things. JW

For example, if we were on a apocalypse zombie I think you would be the first one to die. JW

No, I'm the most useful.Everyone would keep me alive.Espescially you, since your my wife. SH

I would keep our kids alive, since you are a awful father. JW

I am a wonderful father. And what would you do if one got bit and I wasn't there to make a cure? SH

You wouldn't be able to find a cure. JW

I'd make one John.Sometimes it's like you forget your husband is a chemist as well as a detective. SH

You would make one for each of the five? JW

Of course.Though I'm not sure when two turned to five. SH

We have five because you have problems with the condom, darling. JW

It's not my fault they're faulty.I think Mrs.Hudson went and poked holes into them so she could pretend she had grandchildren. SH

That's explains everything. But at least they're great. Although little Hamish is a bit of a trouble. JW

A lot of trouble, John.It's hard to get any work done or have any sex to make more. SH

Do you want more? We already got five! You're ruining my gorgeous body. JW

Nah, it's still perfect.And yes, I want more.I need minions to carry on my work when I get shoved in the ground. SH

They are not going to be detectives! They are going to have a proper job. JW

At least two are John.We don't need to have anymore sex if you don't agree. SH

We're not rabbits. JW

We have a picture of us next to the definition of "mating like rabbits". SH

And they're going to become doctors. JW

No, detectives John. SH

I don't want my children to become homeless. I didn't give birth to watch this. JW

They won't be homeless.They'll get a flat and a John.A John to fall in love with and keep them right, protect them. SH

Finally you're learning how to talk like a proper husband. Instead of just impregnating me. JW

Well I do try my best.Even though impregnating you is fun. SH

The making is great. The nine following months are not so great. JW

The making is wonderful.The following 5-6 months where you want to make more is great.The last 3 are...not so great. SH

Of course. How am I suppose to shag with that freaking belly? JW

I know.It's a horrible nuisance.I'm not getting neutered though so this will be a on-going problem. SH

Actually I'm pregnant with triplets. JW

And there are 90% of chance of them to be yours. JW

What?! No we can't have eight.There's not enough room in the flat. And what's with the 90%?! You've been cheating! SH

I was horny and Greg was around instead of you. What would I do? JW

I'm going to kill him.You should've texted me. SH

Your brother was nearby too. It was a great threesome. JW

.......they're dead.They're absolutely dead.Excuse me while I go contact a few people. SH

But I'm pretty sure these babies are yours, darling. JW

Pretty sure, yes.But my brother and the detective inspector touched my wife! SH

But you weren't near to supply your wife's needs! JW

I was investigating! Simply text "I'm horny" and I would have been there in 5 minutes. SH

Alright, calm down darling. I'll do this next time. JW 

Oh, and there's a slightly chance that I'm carrying Moriarty's children. JW

What.No.You didn't-when. SH

The same evening that I was horny. Greg and your brother weren't enough. JW 

It could be Angelo's too.JW

......I think we need a divorce. I don't know if I can forgive this John. SH

What? No, come on. It won't happen again, I swear. JW

It didn't mean anything, love. JW

Sure it didn't.Greg, Mycroft, my arch-nemesis and Angelo? Oh I feel sick... I think I need to take something. SH

... And Mrs Hudson too. JW

But I'm 100% sure she's not the father. JW

Yep.Just got sick. I'm leaving the flat for tonight. SH

You can't leave me alone with five children! JW

I can and will if I need to think about forgiving my cheating wife! SH

But it was just one night! It didn't mean anything! JW

YOU COULD'VE TEXTED! Moriarty for gods sake John! SH

I was too horny... Sorry xD JW

By the way, you might would like to know that you are bigger than your arch-nemesis... JW

Sorry doesn't cut it when I may not be the father of my wife's children. And I am bigger than Jim? SH

And better. JW

Better too.... SH

Far, far better. You are far better than all of them. JW

Then why'd you sleep with them? If I'm so much better why couldn't you have just waited?....SH

I didn't know... Now I know how greater you are. JW

Can you forgive me now? JW

I won't leave but I need time. SH

Oh my gosh, the doctor had made a mistake. It isn't triplets!!! JW

How many? SH

They are quadruplets!!! JW

.........there's even less chance of them being mine.One for each guy that night...SH

But I did just once with them. How many times we do it in a month? There are days that we do it 10 times! JW

We haven't even once today..SH

I had a wank. I'm fine. JW

Of course your bloody fine! What if I'm horny right now and Molly walks in, looking nice? SH

Or maybe I'll even go find Janine again! SH

Not that bitch!!! JW

Why not John? You found people that were nearby when you were horny, why can't I? SH

husband back so we procreate like rabbits. JW

.....I'm coming home then.So I'll assume we are in a relationship, John? SH

I have to admit that I enjoyed this role play... JW

I did so very much too. I hope we don't even have 5 kids though John.That's too many. SH

And I promise to text you every time I'm horny. JW

That sounds like a good deal.And I promise to check your condoms, even though I'm certain you can't impregnate me through my ass. SH

So can I call you my partner now? JW

Yes.Can I call you wife now? I'll propose if I have to. SH

Only on bed. JW

Awww.....okay. SH

Are you sure you don't want 5 kids? JW

Yes.Though with lots of sex, you may ger me comfortable with the idea of 4. SH

Nine are out of question then? JW

Hell yes.SH

But I want a big family... JW

.......We have to wait till the youngest of the 4 reaches age ten and then maybe we'll get more. SH

And can we make sex like rabbits like the roleplay? JW

You'll have to to talk me into a bunch of stuff you want.SH

So we can't do 10 times a day? Ahhh... ): JW

Maybe I should go to Moriarty... JW

NO WE CAN YOU ARE NOT CHEATING JOHN! SH

Alright, calm down. JW

Sorry....I hate him, please don't joke like that. SH

You're the only one that I'm going to fuck.Sounds better? JW

Very better.Much better. SH

I believe you're not going to be comfortable with me around Greg or Angelo either. JW

Or Mrs Hudson. JW

Or my brother.SH

Did you forget anyone? JW

No? I don't think. SH

I lost count anyway. JW

John, that sounds a bit sluttish. SH

Are you calling your wife a slut? I can't believe this. JW

After giving birth of 5 of your children... Your ungrateful. JW

I am not, I am simply stating what it sounds like.Do you want me to come up or not to the flat? And I'm not ungrateful. SH

Hell yes, bring your ass here so I can fuck it. JW

Be careful John, don't give me a erection in public, even if Baker street is a few feet away. SH

By the way... I think that if I was a woman I would happily give birth to your brood. JW

...oh.That just made me extremely happy. SH

They would be the most gorgeous and cleverest babies on earth. JW

And the wisest and kindest human beings. SH

You're a lovely husband... JW

I know.Just outside the flat now.Mrs.Hudson was acting strange. SH

What do you mean? JW

Kept looking at me and giggling.SH

She must have heard of the story of you calling me your wife. JW

....oh yeah. SH

Husband, I'm horny. JW

Okay Okay In the flat.Where are you? SH

On the bedroom... Gosh I'm dying right here... JW

I'm coming John. SH


	12. Having a domestic

Dear I fear we're facing a problem. -SH

Sherlock, it's been a hour. -JW

You love me no longer I know. -SH

Sherlock. -JW

And I know there's nothing that I can do to make you do. -SH

You're being a drama queen. -JW

So I cry, I pray and I beg for you to... -SH

That's not even the next lyric. -JW

Love me love me, Say that you love me! -SH

I don't really feel like it right now, you're being a twat. -JW

Fool me Fool me, Go on and fool me. -SH

I don't think anyone can fool you, Sherlock. -JW

Love me Love me, Pretend that you love me.Leave me Leave me just say that you need me. -SH

You can stop cyber serenading me now. -JW

Because I can't care about anything but you.. -SH

You care about cases Sherlock. -JW

Anything but you.. -SH

Fine, you can come cuddle.We'll deal with you blowing up the stove tomorrow. -JW

So the fights over?-SH

For now.Because I'm cold and you're being sort of sweet.Come sing that in person and I'll think about forgiving you. -JW


End file.
